Why Saying ‘I Love You’ Matters: The Power of Words -

Saying “I love you” can feel intimidating, but it’s in these vulnerable moments that deeper connections are formed, says Simran Mangharam.

Expressing love verbally can be challenging for many people. For some, it feels unnatural, awkward, or even scary. The vulnerability involved in saying “I love you” can trigger feelings of insecurity, fear of rejection, or a sense of weakness. It might bring up concerns about how the other person will respond or whether the words will be received in the same way they are meant.

This difficulty often stems from childhood experiences, cultural norms, or personal histories. Some people may have grown up in environments where emotional expression wasn’t openly encouraged, making it harder to put feelings into words later in life. Others might have seen their caregivers or role models express love in different, non-verbal ways, such as through actions rather than words.

However, verbal expression of love is crucial for building strong, lasting relationships. Saying “I love you” isn’t just about repeating a phrase; it’s about creating a moment of emotional intimacy and connection. Words hold power in affirming one’s feelings, creating security, and showing commitment. It allows people to feel seen, appreciated, and validated.

As intimidating as it may feel at first, expressing love verbally can eventually become a comforting habit, one that strengthens bonds and brings a sense of closeness. It also encourages more open communication, allowing partners, friends, and family to understand each other’s emotional needs more clearly. In the end, expressing love through words helps foster healthy and fulfilling relationships, even when it feels vulnerable to do so.

For some people, expressing love verbally may seem unnecessary or even forced. They might feel that actions—like hugs, thoughtful gifts, or kind deeds—speak louder than words. It can feel like saying “I love you” becomes rote, diminishing the authenticity of the sentiment, and some might even argue that it “robs the words of their meaning.”

However, I firmly believe that verbalizing love has a profound impact. While it might feel uncomfortable or unnatural initially, saying “I love you” is a moment of true vulnerability. It’s often this vulnerability that triggers that mild queasiness many of us experience the first few times we say it. We worry: What if the other person thinks it’s silly? What if it makes the moment awkward? What if they don’t know how to respond, or worse, don’t want to say it back?

But here’s the thing: these moments of vulnerability are essential for creating deep, lasting connections. Over time, the fear and discomfort fade away as we realize that those three words hold much more significance than we initially gave them credit for. Saying “I love you” isn’t just a mere phrase; it’s a reassurance, a commitment, and a reinforcement of emotional closeness. It’s a way to share our hearts with someone else and acknowledge the bond we’ve built together.

In fact, hearing “I love you” reassures the listener and creates a sense of security, even if they feel awkward or hesitant in responding. It becomes a reminder of affection, and for many people, it acts as a foundation for a deeper, more enduring relationship. While actions certainly matter, verbalizing our love brings a different kind of connection—a connection that is both emotional and verbal. And that, in itself, is incredibly meaningful.

For all these reasons, it’s worth making the effort to express love verbally. In my experience, saying “I love you” can significantly enhance intimacy, deepen trust, and create a tangible emotional connection, even between friends. It’s a simple but powerful way to show that you care, to reinforce bonds, and to remind others of the value they hold in your life.

As a believer in the importance of love, vulnerability, and effective communication, I made the conscious decision years ago to use the word “love” more frequently. I say “I love you” regularly to my daughter, husband, mother, nephew, and, of course, my circle of close friends. It’s become a meaningful part of my relationships, reminding me and those I care about that love is something we share, not just feel in silence.

These three words carry weight. They remind us of our connection and the deep feelings we hold for one another. While it can feel vulnerable or even awkward at times, the reward is immeasurable—an emotional bond that strengthens over time. And it’s a practice I continue to embrace because it truly matters.

I use the phrase “I love you” in text messages and emails when I truly mean it. Each time, it comes straight from the heart, genuine and sincere.

The responses I receive vary, from silence to “I know,” “Ditto,” or “I love you too.” In the beginning, the silences made me wonder how my message was being received. I questioned whether it felt awkward or out of place for the other person. But over time, I decided that no matter how it was received, I would voice what I felt regardless.

The act of saying it—whether or not it’s reciprocated in the exact same way—is still meaningful. It’s about expressing love without expectation and embracing vulnerability. I’ve found that this simple act of putting my feelings into words not only strengthens the bond I have with others but also helps me to stay connected to my own emotions. The message itself, even if not always returned in the way I hope, is a reflection of my commitment to being open, honest, and vulnerable. And that, in itself, is a gift.

What happened next still intrigues and delights me. I noticed that those who were silent started reaching out to me more often than they had before. Over time, half of them began responding with “Love you too.” The other half remain silent, but I can say with confidence that our connection has deepened.

Two of these individuals are my husband and my mother. My husband, who initially responded with silence, moved on to saying “I know,” and eventually, “I love you too.” My mother, too, started saying “I love you” in December.

There’s a lot of talk today about attention spans, crowded minds, and our obsession with phones. The truth is, these distractions are here now, and they aren’t going anywhere. That’s what makes it even more important to express our love verbally. In a world where we’re often distracted, our actions sometimes fail to reflect how we truly feel. But words—saying “I love you”—cut through the noise, anchoring us in what matters most.

Knowing someone loves you can often feel abstract. But hearing those words spoken aloud provides confirmation, a sense of emotional closeness and connection.

As someone who now hears “I love you” more frequently than I did before, I can attest to how powerful those words can be. They make me feel loved, offer a sense of security, and give my self-esteem a boost. During tough times, they remind me that I’m not alone. The growing list of people to whom I say “I love you” has become a precious reminder of those who will stand by me, no matter what.

This matters, not only because life can be unpredictable, but because, even in the best of times, the confidence that comes from being loved forms one of the key pillars of a fulfilled life.

So, don’t hold back. Say “I love you” to someone you haven’t said it to before. It’s freeing, fortifying, and you’d be surprised how quietly it can change things. These words, though simple, have the power to strengthen bonds and deepen connections in ways you might not expect.