Why Sweden’s ‘Soft Girl’ Trend is Gaining Popularity Among Women Who Want to Quit the Grind -

Sweden, known globally for its progressive gender equality policies, has recently seen a surprising trend among young women: the rise of the “soft girl” lifestyle. This movement celebrates quitting traditional work in favor of a life centered around rest, self-care, and femininity, raising questions in a country that has long advocated for dual-income households and work-life balance.

One notable advocate of this lifestyle is Vilma Larsson, 25, who left her jobs in a grocery store, a care home, and a factory to become a stay-at-home girlfriend. She says she has never been happier since making the switch a year ago, enjoying a life without the stress of work. Her boyfriend, who works remotely in finance, provides her with a monthly allowance from his income. If she needs more, she simply asks; if less, she saves.

“I am not struggling. I am not very stressed,” says Larsson, who spends her days going to the gym, having coffee with friends, or cooking. The couple now lives in Cyprus during the winter, having left their small-town lives in central Sweden behind.

Larsson’s lifestyle, which she shares on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok, has garnered significant attention. She has amassed 11,000 followers, with some of her posts receiving up to 400,000 likes. She uses hashtags like “hemmaflickvän” (stay-at-home girlfriend) and “hemmafru” (housewife) and describes herself as a “soft girl.” This identity, gaining traction on social media globally since the late 2010s, is about embracing a more relaxed, feminine lifestyle rather than focusing on career advancement.

The popularity of the soft girl trend in Sweden has generated both surprise and division. The country’s long-standing policies promoting gender equality and dual-income households seem at odds with the rising appeal of rejecting traditional work roles. Despite this, the trend has gained significant attention, especially among younger generations. Ungdomsbarometern, Sweden’s largest annual youth survey, highlighted the soft girl trend as a prediction for 2024, particularly among 15 to 24-year-olds.

A more recent study by Ungdomsbarometern, conducted this August, found that the soft girl movement is even being embraced by younger schoolgirls, with 14% of 7 to 14-year-olds identifying with the trend. The growing appeal of this lifestyle among Sweden’s youth is sparking conversation about the changing expectations and desires of the younger generation in a country known for its advocacy of gender equality and women in the workforce.

While some view the soft girl movement as a step back from the progress Sweden has made in promoting women’s careers and financial independence, others argue it’s simply a personal choice that reflects a shift in priorities, focusing on mental health, well-being, and self-expression rather than conventional career-driven success.

The rise of the “soft girl” trend in Sweden comes as part of a broader global movement that has seen young women embracing a more relaxed, non-career-focused lifestyle. In a country renowned for its strong social policies that support women’s careers, the trend raises important questions about the evolving role of women in society. Many Swedish women, like Vilma Larsson, who have chosen to step away from the traditional workforce, emphasize that the lifestyle is not about laziness, but rather about prioritizing mental health, well-being, and a more fulfilling personal life.

For Larsson, the decision to leave her previous jobs and take on a more traditional, home-focused role has been transformative. She acknowledges that many people may see her decision as going against the grain of what’s expected of modern women in Sweden, where women are encouraged to pursue careers and financial independence. However, Larsson and others in the soft girl movement argue that it’s about reclaiming control over their time and energy, choosing a lifestyle where personal happiness takes precedence over societal expectations of constant work and achievement.

The soft girl movement has created a sense of community online, where women share their experiences and lifestyles through social media platforms. Larsson’s Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok accounts feature content centered around the soft girl aesthetic—showcasing cozy mornings, self-care routines, and moments of leisure. Her followers are not just looking for fashion inspiration but are also embracing the emotional and mental space that the lifestyle offers.

However, this trend has sparked debate. Critics argue that the soft girl movement may undermine decades of progress in gender equality in Sweden. The country has long been at the forefront of initiatives designed to ensure that both men and women share responsibilities in the workforce and at home. Policies supporting paid parental leave, gender-neutral pay, and equal opportunities in the workplace have made Sweden a leader in the fight for women’s rights.

While the soft girl movement may seem at odds with these principles, others believe it reflects a shift in how women today want to live. They suggest that this trend is not necessarily a rejection of equality but a reimagining of what it means to be a woman in the 21st century. Rather than seeing it as a return to traditional gender roles, some view it as an act of personal choice—an expression of freedom that allows women to define success on their own terms, whether that includes career, family, or lifestyle.

Sweden’s increasing interest in the soft girl trend could be seen as a reflection of the broader societal shift towards prioritizing mental health and well-being, particularly in the face of growing concerns about the pressures of modern life. Young people are increasingly rejecting the idea that success must come at the expense of personal happiness and health, opting for a lifestyle that balances productivity with leisure and self-care.

Furthermore, the trend may also be seen as a response to the rise of influencer culture, where many women are able to achieve financial independence or support through social media content without adhering to traditional career paths. For some women, becoming a “soft girl” is not a retreat from progress but an embrace of a different path to independence and fulfillment.

While the soft girl movement may not be for everyone, it offers a different lens through which to view modern womanhood. In Sweden, where women have long been expected to do it all—work, parent, and contribute to society—the trend is challenging traditional notions of success and offering a more fluid interpretation of what it means to live a fulfilling life.

The rise of the “soft girl” trend in Sweden, where young women are choosing to step away from work and rely on their partners for financial support, has sparked a significant debate within the country. Critics argue that the trend threatens the hard-earned progress Sweden has made in gender equality, particularly in terms of women’s economic independence and participation in the workforce.

Johanna Göransson, a researcher for Ungdomsbarometern, highlights that the trend is a reaction to the high demands of the “girl boss” ideal, which has been popularized in recent years. This “girl boss” mentality emphasizes success in every aspect of life, creating intense pressures on women to excel in their careers while balancing personal and familial responsibilities. The soft girl movement, in contrast, embraces a gentler, more relaxed lifestyle, focusing on well-being, self-care, and leisure rather than chasing traditional measures of success.

While there is no official data on how many young women have chosen to quit their jobs to live off their partners, Göransson suggests that it is likely to be a small group. Nonetheless, the trend has become a prominent topic of conversation in Sweden, sparking opinion pieces in major newspapers, panel discussions at political events like Almedalen, and even debates on public service television.

One prominent voice in the debate is Gudrun Schyman, co-founder of Sweden’s feminist party Feministiskt initiativ. Schyman views the rise of the “soft girl” trend as dangerous and believes it undermines the progress made in gender equality. She sees women depending on their partners’ wealth as a step backward for women’s rights and economic independence. Schyman attributes this shift partly to the influence of Sweden’s right-wing coalition government and the rise of populism across Europe and the United States, which she argues has contributed to an overall erosion of feminist values.

Schyman also points out that young women today lack a sense of historical perspective regarding the struggles for gender equality in Sweden. With policies like subsidized childcare and shared parental leave now well-established, younger generations may not fully understand the battles women faced in the past to secure their right to work, earn a living, and achieve financial independence. This lack of historical awareness, according to Schyman, may contribute to the popularity of the soft girl movement, which she believes is undermining feminist gains in the country.

While the soft girl movement offers a more relaxed approach to life, critics argue that it could lead to complacency when it comes to gender equality, especially in a society that has worked hard to promote women’s participation in both the workforce and home life equally. The debate surrounding this trend reflects broader tensions between personal choice and the societal goals of equality and empowerment that have been central to Sweden’s feminist movement for decades.

The debate surrounding Sweden’s “soft girl” trend has polarized opinions, with supporters arguing it is an expression of personal freedom, while critics, including prominent feminists, see it as a regression. At its core, the trend challenges the conventional notion of women as “girl bosses” striving for career success, independence, and achievement. Instead, it promotes a lifestyle that embraces self-care, femininity, and, for some, reliance on a partner’s income.

The trend has flourished especially on social media platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, where influencers such as Vilma Larsson openly share their decision to become stay-at-home girlfriends. Larsson, who has amassed a following of thousands, is unapologetic about her choice. Her posts highlight a life centered around leisure, travel, fitness, and relaxation, underpinned by financial support from her boyfriend, who works remotely in finance. While she acknowledges that she receives a monthly allowance from him, she emphasizes that she is not dependent on him in the traditional sense, as she maintains control over her savings and financial decisions.

Her portrayal of the “soft girl” lifestyle — with hashtags like #hemmaflickvän and #hemmafru, which translate to stay-at-home girlfriend and housewife — resonates with a growing number of young women who are tired of the pressures that come with striving for professional success. In Sweden, where gender equality policies such as subsidized childcare and shared parental leave have been in place for decades, the trend has raised eyebrows. Given the country’s progressive history in advancing women’s rights, some feel that the soft girl movement undermines years of advocacy for economic independence, equal work opportunities, and the dismantling of gender roles.

Critics argue that the soft girl trend romanticizes traditional gender roles in which women rely financially on men, a model that many believe has been left behind in the pursuit of gender equality. They point to the fact that Sweden’s welfare system, designed to support dual-income households, has allowed women to pursue careers while sharing responsibilities at home with men. For many, the idea of women opting out of the workforce to focus on domesticity seems like a step backward, not forward.

Gudrun Schyman, one of Sweden’s leading feminist voices, is vocal about her concerns. She believes that young women today lack a full understanding of how hard their foremothers fought to secure women’s rights in Sweden. Schyman highlights the struggle for equal pay, the right to work, and the right to financial independence — rights that have been fundamental to Sweden’s feminist agenda. She also notes that the rise of populism in Sweden and across Europe has contributed to an atmosphere where traditional gender roles are gaining a foothold once again.

Schyman’s critique is rooted in a broader concern about the erosion of feminist values. The trend of young women choosing to live off their partners’ wealth is seen as a symptom of a shift away from the feminist ideals that have been central to Sweden’s social and political landscape. In Schyman’s view, this is not just an issue of personal choice but of social responsibility, as Sweden’s feminist agenda has been integral to its identity for decades. The idea of women returning to traditional, submissive roles, according to Schyman, threatens to undermine all the progress that has been made.

Proponents of the soft girl lifestyle, on the other hand, argue that it is a conscious choice for some women who are rejecting the hyper-competitive, success-driven culture that the “girl boss” movement has propagated. They view it as a way to reclaim control over their lives and happiness, free from the societal pressure to excel professionally. For these women, living a life of leisure and embracing traditional femininity is not about regressing, but about finding balance and peace in a world that demands constant achievement.

The growing popularity of the soft girl trend among younger generations, particularly schoolgirls, as highlighted by the Ungdomsbarometern survey, suggests that the lifestyle resonates with a deep desire to slow down and reclaim femininity from the pressures of modern life. It reflects a broader cultural shift, where mental health and well-being are becoming central to the conversations about success and fulfillment.

Whether this trend signals a return to traditional gender roles or is merely a form of self-care in an increasingly fast-paced world remains to be seen. However, what is clear is that it has sparked an important conversation about the future of gender equality, the evolving role of women in society, and the intersection between personal choice and social progress. The “soft girl” movement, while small in scale, serves as a reminder of the complex and ever-changing nature of feminism in the modern world.

At the opposite end of the political spectrum, Sweden’s right-wing Sweden Democrats party has expressed a more supportive stance toward the “soft girl” trend. Denice Westerberg, the national spokesperson for the party’s youth wing, emphasized that the ability to choose one’s lifestyle is a fundamental right. “I think that people should get to decide over their own life,” she said. “And if you have that economic possibility to do that [live off a partner], then good for you.” Westerberg’s position aligns with the party’s broader advocacy for individual freedoms, suggesting that if women have the means to live traditionally without working, they should be able to do so without judgment. She also pointed out that Sweden still provides ample opportunities for career advancement, and women have the right to pursue a career, but they also have the right to choose a more traditional lifestyle if they wish.

Beyond political viewpoints, the rise of the “soft girl” trend can also be attributed to various social and cultural factors that may be influencing the decisions of young women to quit work or embrace a lifestyle focused on leisure and personal well-being. Sweden is renowned for its strong work-life balance, with many employees enjoying six weeks of vacation annually and less than 1% of workers putting in over 50 hours a week. Despite these favorable working conditions, surveys like Ungdomsbarometern’s show that stress levels among younger people are rising. This increasing stress might be fueling the soft girl movement, which some see as an extension of broader global work trends, such as “quiet quitting,” which encourages workers to do only what is required of them and avoid overburdening themselves.

The shift in attitudes also mirrors the preferences of Generation Z (those born between 1997 and 2012), who are not only making social media content that celebrates a laid-back, leisure-focused lifestyle, but are also increasingly influenced by it. Social media has become a powerful platform for shaping values and aspirations, and for many members of Generation Z, success is no longer defined solely by career achievements but by the ability to enjoy life on one’s own terms. This trend is evident in the growing popularity of influencers who share their experiences of non-traditional lifestyles, where fulfillment is derived from personal growth, health, and relationships rather than from professional accomplishments.

Thus, the soft girl movement can be viewed as a reflection of a broader cultural shift, where young people, particularly women, are redefining what it means to lead a successful and meaningful life. It challenges conventional notions of career-driven success, and instead, embraces a softer, more relaxed approach to living. Whether this is a fleeting trend or a lasting shift in societal norms remains to be seen, but it has undoubtedly sparked important conversations about the pressures of modern work culture, the quest for work-life balance, and the evolving definition of personal fulfillment.

Ms. Johanna Göransson points out that work-related content has significantly decreased in popularity on social media, with a growing emphasis on exercise and wellness instead. She suggests that, for young people, this shift in focus may have contributed to a diminishing interest in traditional work environments. “If that’s the picture young people have of what a normal life looks like, then, of course, maybe you’re not so excited about spending eight hours in an office a day,” she explains.

However, one of the most compelling discussions surrounding the soft girl trend is whether it is, in part, a response to Sweden’s pioneering gender equality policies. Despite the country’s progress in fostering gender equality, some limitations still exist, particularly in the division of labor at home. According to government statistics, while Sweden (along with Slovenia) has the highest proportion of working mothers in Europe, women in heterosexual couples still perform a larger share of housework and childcare than men. Additionally, women take 70% of state-funded parental leave and are more likely to go on sick leave due to stress. Although the gender pay gap is relatively low compared to the EU average, it has stagnated at around 10% since 2019.

Vilma Larsson, who made the decision to become a stay-at-home girlfriend, points to the pressures faced by older women in her family as a key factor in her choice. She says, “I think a lot of women feel burned out from their work,” reflecting on the struggles of her mother, grandmother, and sister, all of whom she perceives as constantly stressed. This suggests that the trend could be an expression of frustration with the ongoing challenges women face in balancing career and family life.

Peter Wickström, head of policy analysis and monitoring at Sweden’s Gender Equality Agency, agrees that the soft girl movement could be seen as a rational reaction to the “demands” placed on young women in society. He suggests that the increasing burden of expectations, combined with mental health struggles, may be contributing to the desire to step away from the workforce in favor of a softer, less demanding lifestyle.

From an economic perspective, Shoka Åhrman, an economist at Sweden’s largest pension fund, SPP, believes that the soft girl trend is unlikely to have a significant impact on Sweden’s economy, as it will not be widespread enough for it to affect the workforce. However, she raises an important concern: by leaving the workforce, even temporarily or part-time, women risk financial repercussions. Åhrman notes that such decisions can affect personal finances, including savings, pensions, and future salary levels if they choose to return to work.

Åhrman hopes that the ongoing debates surrounding the soft girl phenomenon will serve as a wake-up call for both politicians and businesses to address the persistent structural inequalities that still exist in Sweden. She emphasizes that the root cause of this trend lies in mental health issues and burnout, which not only affect the young women who choose to adopt the soft girl lifestyle but also highlight broader societal concerns. Mental health struggles and burnout continue to be major issues in Sweden, and they are, according to Åhrman, what should be of greater concern, as they affect not just a small group of women, but the wider population.

In conclusion, while the soft girl trend has gained traction as a reaction to the pressures young women face, it also raises critical questions about Sweden’s gender equality policies, work-life balance, and the ongoing challenges that women continue to face in both their personal and professional lives. The trend may be an expression of the desire for a more relaxed, fulfilling lifestyle, but it also underscores the need for systemic changes to ensure that all women have the support they need to thrive in every aspect of their lives.